I do a tonne of writing. I haven't done as much as I'd like to have done recently, but over the last couple of years, I've started on numerous different projects that just didn't work out. Either I got bored of them, I wasn't liking the direction they were going or I was just too damned busy. And looking back on them...there's some that I'm super embarassed that I wrote about. So you get to take a look at, well, what could've been - where I'll be posting stuff "as is" in an incomplete state, so you can get an idea as to how I write. That, and I've just discovered a lot of old writing that could be of some use.

This one here's about video game commercials. It was more or less a feature I was planning to showcase some of the best/worst/weirdest commercials out there. I was going to download some of the commercials to showcase some of the images that I mention (screencapping, basically), but I never really got around to it. Mainly because I just got bored of the thing and moved on to something else. So without further ado:

VIDEO GAME COMMERCIALS IN THE 90's

For some strange reason I have a penchant for old commercials. There’s just something about the datedness of the whole thing, as well as the way that products were advertised back then that fascinates me. Also helps that I’m a sucker for nostalgia. Today, we’ll be looking at possibly the pinnacle of video game advertising – the 90’s. I’d like to start off with taking a look at Sega’s commercials during the 90’s.

Bit of history first. Sega had a lot of ground to cover in the US. The Master System didn’t fly as well as Sega hoped it would (compared to Europe, Japan and Australia), and Sega needed a big hit in the US. The big thing that helped sell the system was to make it an ‘American’ system. This would involve changing the name of the system (from Mega Drive to Genesis) as well as engaging in some very ‘American’ advertising.

Across all the ads that I’ll be linking too, there are a few things linking each together, and kinda show off the two ‘generations’ of ads that Sega were running back in the early to mid 90’s.

(GENESIS DOES IMAGE)

No doubt you’ll remember this. It’s one of the catchiest ads for anything game related, and was a pretty big shot at Nintendo. You have to understand – the Genesis had a good two/three years ahead of the Super Nintendo, and while the NES still had some great games at the time of the Genesis launch, it was something that would repeat for both the Saturn and Dreamcast. The phrase itself (Genesis Does What Nintendon’t) is easily the most quotable advertisement about the Genesis – more so than Blast Processing.

(NEXT LEVEL IMAGE)

There was also this. This is actually a pretty cool slogan, I must admit.  This is basically the more edgier of the Sega ad campaigns, which really do take more shots at Nintendo (and some kinda vicious ones too – such as burning a SNES and making plenty of shots against the Game Boy). All of them seem to end with someone yelling out “SEGA!” – not in the same way that you hear the Sega name in some of their other games. Anyway, onto the commercials.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYgm6ZcQHWw (Comix Zone)

Great game this was. The ad? I cannot make sense of it. A voice over asks the viewer “So you wanna live in a comic book world huh?” when really, this people don’t seem like ANYTHING in a comic book – even 90’s comic books. The dialogue seems mostly like the family is a bunch of D&D roleplayers. Judge for yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Enpxb8rUHwA (Street Fighter II – Special Championship Edition)

Around this time, Capcom had some really interesting adverts for Street Fighter II. There was a series of live action adverts for Street Fighter II Turbo for the Super Famicon which aren’t too bad. This one is possibly the most interesting, because it portrays a Street Fighter II SCE cart as being a monster. A Mortal Kombat crushing monster. Weirdly enough, you never see MK taking a cheap shot at SF...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlulSyBI2aY (Blast Processing!)

The infamous Blast Processing commercial. If you’ve ever wanted to know what it was, it was basically marketing hype to make you think your Genesis was more powerful than a SNES – because it could run stuff like Ecco the Dolphin or Sonic 2. Great console war fuel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WULGtz1jVxo (Sega CD Ad)

I like to think of this dude as the harbinger of the Genesis’ death. He’s not only angry at this kid for not only not buying a Sega CD (and waiting for Nintendo to make one...which nearly happened), but was later seen trying to sell Ground Zero Texas (for the Sega CD) and a Sega 32X. Need I say more?

GENESIS DOES COMMERICIAL (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7nsBoqJ6s8)

The legendary commercial. Basically, there’s a number of the same commercial, changed to suit what Sega was trying to hawk at the time – be it the number of sports games or games you could get when you mailed away or what awesome game is out on the system or whatever. Though it almost always ends with a montage of people shouting “GENESIS! Does! GENESIS! Does!”

SUPER NINTENDO – PLAY IT LOUD

During the same time, Nintendo had some stiff competition in terms of advertising from Sega. Their commercials for the Super Nintendo were really...tame. There were some inventive ads, but there was nothing really that matched the aggressiveness of what Sega were doing. From about the mid-90’s, Nintendo realized that they needed to match Sega in terms of what they were doing advertising wise.

Let’s just say the results were not as successful.

The best way to describe the Play it Loud campaign is basically summed up in one single phrase...which is summed up via one single image.

(FIGHT EARWAX IMAGE)

...Yes. I’m not making this up. I honestly wish I was. If the first thing that popped into your head upon viewing this image was “wow – Nintendo are trying too damned hard”, then you’re right. It just screamed of Nintendo desperately trying to seem hip – 90’S HIP. Anyway – commercials!

(YOSHISISLAND)

This video makes me sad. I love that game – it’s easily the best platformer ever made...and this ad? Nothing to do with the game. It seems like a huge clone of a similar sketch from Monty Python and the Meaning of Life...and even then I still didn’t like it. It also didn’t have the awesome conclusion. Could’ve been worse though...

(EARTHBOUND IMAGES)

OK, this isn’t from Play it Loud...but this deserves mention anyway. You want to know the real reason why Nintendo hate the Mother series? THIS is why. They cannot advertise it...it’s really a difficult game to sort of describe. This is also why you’ll never see an official release of Mother 3.

(KILLER INSTINCT COMMERCIAL)

HOLY (*steamwhistle*). This commercial represents the ultimate in Nintendo’s try-hardness. There’s not a single reason why Nintendo needed to add the fake censoring of words, and it shows. It seems forced, REALLY forced.  Then again, the kids are talking about Killer Instinct…

(DONKEY KONG COUNTRY COMMERCIAL)

Out of all the Play it Loud commercials, this is the one I admire the most. It’s simple. It’s effective. It’s the only one that really takes a cheap shot at Sega and doesn’t seem wrong in any way shape or form. Gets you real hyped to want DKC…whether or not you like the game is completely irrelevant.

(BUTTHOLE SURFERS AD)

....Yeah, this definitely screams 90’s. What’s interesting is that the song playing in the background is actually by the Butthole Surfers – a notable alternative band. It’s also the first (and possibly only) time you’ll ever hear an f-bomb (albeit censored) in anything related to the Nintendo.

(FIGHT EARWAX AD)

And now we come full circle. This here is the very ad that kicked off this entire entry, and although being very similar to the Butthole Surfers ad – is probably the more iconic of the whole “we’re in the 90’s and it’s cool to rebel and be a punk” phase. Not only because of that phrase, but because of the whole idea of the ad...where there are very few games there.

SEGATA SANSHIRO

The Sega Saturn is one of the more underappreciated consoles of recent times. In the west, it was a flop compared to the Nintendo 64 and the Playstation, but over in Japan? It was something else completely. It was the home to many of the greatest SHUMPS, RPGS and fighters ever made. It had a completely different identity than what it was over here, what, with some of the really weird commercials and some of the worst policies for any game console.

However, one particular reason why the Saturn was a big hit in Japan came in the form of an interesting ad campaign featuring a character known as Segata Sanshiro. The idea was that he was a parody of judo fighter Sugata Sanshiro – the hero of “Sanshro Sugata”, the first film directed by Akira Kurosawa, whom is one of, if not the, most influential filmmakers in Japan.

The character of Segata was that he was a lone warrior whom dedicated his life to preaching the ways of the Sega Saturn – and wanted kids to be playing it non-stop. So much so, he wanted them to “Play until your fingers break!” If he found out that you weren’t, he would beat seven shades of crap out of you. No exceptions. Young, old, whatever – chances are if Sanshiro is around, someone is going to get the tar kicked out of them. After all, the man trains by bashing a gigantic Saturn controller and dragging around a gigantic Saturn for crying out loud!

So how popular was this character? Well, aside from being a big part of the Saturn being a huge success in Japan, Segata got his own CD single with his admittedly awesome theme music, and after all the ads were done...got his own video game! Hell, the actor who played him also portrays the role of Ryo’s dad in the Japanese version of Shenmue!

But enough history. His actions speak louder than words.

(SANTA AD)

The first time Japanese audiences would be introduced to Segata Sanshiro. And what better way to introduce just how fanatical this man is about the Sega Saturn by not only portraying him as Santa Claus (SANTA-SAN!), then reveal himself to be Segata Sanshiro, THEN beating the tar out of three kids. It’s a reoccurring theme with Sanshiro.

(NIGHTCLUB AD)

Again, this shows off that no matter what, if Segata finds out you haven’t been playing your Sega Saturn, you’re due for an ass kicking. Turns out AN ENTIRE NIGHTCLUB hasn’t been playing either. Tsk tsk..

(SATURN BOMBERMAN)

This is the first of the game related commercials, and it kicks off with...well, a bang. Basically, Sanshiro also has the magical ability to judo throw someone and make them explode. He’s just as awesome as...well, Bomberman! Saturn Bomberman is actually a great game also.