Back when I was in Middle School (ages 11 - 13) kids really didn't date (not like today when they're having sex at age 12), but when you sort of were boyfriend/girlfriend you'd say that you were "going" with someone. At my school there was a girl named Jennifer who would be "going" with a different guy each week (except for me). It was all completely harmless and no one really thought much of it, since the idea of dating was foreign and all you'd do is maybe hang out at each others' houses or sit next to each other at lunch.

So one week Jennifer was "going" with my buddy Alan. And on this one particular day we were hanging out in Alan's basement. Alan invited Jennifer over to basically play Nintendo with us. However, Alan just got Dragon Warrior a few days earlier and that's all he wanted to play. I was more than content to hang back and read Nintendo Power, but Jennifer was a little confused. "Ummmm could we play something two player?" she asked. "I really want to play Dragon Warrior" said the young Rico Suave. "Well, what can I do?" she came back with.

Alan thought about it for a minute and came up with an answer. "You can map the game," and proceeded to hand her a pencil and a sheet of graphing paper. Even for an 8th grader I knew he fucked up hard.  To her credit she did actually try to map the game for about 5 minutes and then proceeded to break up with him and left.

For the next 5 years until we graduated high school no one ever let Alan forget that. Anytime he mentioned he was going to ask someone out, or was going out with someone the jokes would start flying, "What are you doing after prom? Hitting a hotel room and mapping out Final Fantasy 3?" Ahhhhh good times.