!!!
He sounds like he looks like the monopoly guy.
I picture him butt naked from the waist down.
I certainly would've ducked under the counter if I saw that.
How many times have you been shot?
Hopefully never.
This is the one thing I miss about working in a retail kind of setting. You just don't get these kinds of stories talking to people on the phone about TPS reports.
He's not really scary, just slightly amusing, mostly annoying. One day when I was stuck at the front with him, my manager came from the back of the building, spotted him, did a 180 and walked to the back for another twenty minutes.
Which is what you should do!
Meh, I have seen some weirder stuff, just walking around the city. You have to do better than that to impress me!
I once had a conversation with a dude about beer in the beer aisle. Then he grabbed a beer, shoved it in his jacket, looked furtively around and turned to me and said, "I was a figment of your imagination" and proceeded to walk out the store.
^ And then you tackled him, smashed that beer over his head, and said, "Imaginations' a bitch."
This reminds me that I need to start on part two sometime.
Ravenprose said:^ And then you tackled him, smashed that beer over his head, and said, "Imaginations' a bitch."
Dammit, I should have. But... in the long view of history, I'm not going to begrudge a man a free beer.
That's an awesome story Travo. I have had a few encounters with some oddballs as well as some "twilight zone" conversations. Will try to think of some interesting ones to share.
aspro said:I love retail stories.
I once had a conversation with a dude about beer in the beer aisle. Then he grabbed a beer, shoved it in his jacket, looked furtively around and turned to me and said, "I was a figment of your imagination" and proceeded to walk out the store.
This is pure gold.
aspro said:Ravenprose said:^ And then you tackled him, smashed that beer over his head, and said, "Imaginations' a bitch."
Dammit, I should have. But... in the long view of history, I'm not going to begrudge a man a free beer.
Raven you're so narrowminded. That guy clearly deserved a free beer on account of that line alone ... maybe some free peanuts to go with as well. Aspro did the right thing.
___
Listen to Wu-Tang and watch Kung-Fu
bugsonglass said:That's an awesome story Travo. I have had a few encounters with some oddballs as well as some "twilight zone" conversations. Will try to think of some interesting ones to share.
Raven you're so narrowminded. That guy clearly deserved a free beer on account of that line alone ... maybe some free peanuts to go with as well. Aspro did the right thing.
You could almost say he has no imagination.
I guess I'll write a couple of these. If you guys enjoy this one, I guess I'll make another one.
I've worked at two different convenience stores, off and on, for the past fourteen years. When I first started working at the store, I was just dating my wife. After we married, I continued working there on weekends and during the summer for spending money for us to go out to eat or to the movies, etc. I vowed to never work a second job when my son was born, but here I am. Most of you know, I have to work there because of an something that happened last summer. Hopefully, I'll be done within the next year, but who knows.
I'm going to try to tell these as truthfully as possible, no embellishments here, just from what I remember. Honestly, there's no way to embellish some of the conversations and make them better than what was actually said. You simply can't make some of this stuff up.
Anyway, like any store, we see our share of different personalities in the store. Most people are extremely nice. Some have little quirks that make them very interesting to talk to. Some are quirky enough to make you want to duck behind the counter when you see them walk in. This guy, the odd guy, is one that makes you want to hide behind the counter and pretend you are not there. I've had a few odd conversations with him, this is the latest.
The odd guys drives his jeep up to the gas pump and walks in.
Odd Guy: "Hello there young man, how are you today?
Me: " I am doing well."
OG: " I see that. You look like a very handsome young man. I was wanting to purchase $25 of your best gas."
He pays me and turns to walk out , then pauses and returns to the counter.
OG: "Let me have two packs of Newports, one pack of Marlboros and one Maverick."
I ring him up tell him the total. He starts looking through his wallet for money and finds a hundred dollar bill.
OG: " Aw shit, I don't believe I have enough change."
Me: " Sir, I believe that's more than enough if you still want to purchase all of these cigarettes.."
OG: " We'll, ill be damned, you are so right! Thank you, youn man. You are most helpful. A most splendid young man. Are you married, sir?"
Me: "Yes."
OG: "I was once as we'll, beautiful lady. Until she turned into a bitch! Tell me young man, do you have any kids?"
Me:"Two."
At this time, a lady walks into the store, picks up a drink and gets in line behind him. I Finish the transaction with the man and be continues to talk.
OG:" Two kids! That's wonderful! I have two as well, a boy and a girl. I don't see them much, when I did see them last, they bot got NAKED! Yeah, naked! Right in front of me."
The girl behind him eye's widened.
OG: " Do you know what I did? Hmm?"
Me:" ......."
OG:" I got the he'll out of there! If I'm gonna get naked it'll be at home. I always get naked at home."
He turns to see the lady behind him.
OG: " Anyway, young man, have a good day. I hope it's wonderful and I will see you later. Thank you!"
He turns to face the lady behind him "And thank you too, young lady. And most importantly, thank ME too! Have a good day!"