This is just something stupid I wanted to do. There is no hidden message or anything in it. I suck at photoshop so just use your imagination on this one, enjoy.
Trinnen: AHHH! Nintendo noooo!!!
Miyamoto the White: What did you see Trinnen!
Trinnen: It was horrible, I saw Nintendo make only crappy cell phone games and fitness monitors. There were no consoles, no portables. Iwatathor will listen to the armies of the analists and lead us to a path of destruction.
Miyamoto the White: Then we must tell the third party king to be ready to join us when the time is needed.
Miyamoto the White: Trinnen has seen the future, Nintendo will fall to investor pressures, they will fail without your help. If new consoles are made the third parties must be ready for war!
Third party king: Tell me. Why should we ride to aid those who did not come to ours? What do we owe Nintendo?
Yamauchigorn: I will go to warn them!
Miyamoto the White: No you have a different part to play, await for my signal I head to Nintendo headquarters with Trinnen!
Nintendo Headquarters
Miyamoto the White: Hail Iwatathor, Lord and Steward of Nintendo. I come with tidings in this dark hour - and with counsel.
Iwatathor: Perhaps you come to explain this? *Lifts a dead Wii U system*. Perhaps you have come to explain why my console is dead?
Trinnen: The Wii U died to save us... to show us how we could save Nintendo for America and the rest of the world. I offer you my service to make sure this never happens again.
Miyamoto the White: My Lord, there will be a time to grieve for the Wii U, but it is not now the time. Bankruptcy is coming ... the investors and analaysts are on your doorstep. As Steward, you are charged with the defence of this company. Where are the third parties? You still have friends - you are not alone in this fight. Send word to the third parties.
Iwatathor: You think you are wise, Miyamoto, yet for all your subtleties.you have not wisdom. Do you think the eyes of the CEO are blind? I have seen more than you know. With your left hand you would use me as a shield against investors and with your right you would seek to supplant me. I know who rides with the third parties. Words have reached this ears of this Yamauchigorn and I will tell you know I will not bow to this ghost from long past.
Miyamoto the White: Authority is not given to you to deny the return of the king!
Iwatathor: The rule of Nintendo is mine! Fitness is our future!
*Meanwhile the armies of investors, media and analysts march on Nintendo*
"Nintendo should be on Mobile phones!!! Wii U is dead!!! Confused customers! Nintendo is doomed!"
Reggimir: Sir we have lost America. The media has delcared us dead.
Iwatathor: I don't think we should so lightly abandon America.
Reggimir: What would you have me do?
Iwatathor: I will not yield America without a fight. We will send them Cranky Kong in Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze
Reggimir: But they dont care about that, they need new games, new info! I cant go to the media with nothing!
Iwatathor: Much must be risked to win this war. You will go with Crany Kong!
Reggimir: I will do as you say.
Iwatathor: Can you sing Master Trinnen?
Trinnen: Well... yes for my own people at least. I only know songs from Nintendo's past though.
Iwatathor: And why would that be unfit for my halls. Come sing me a song!
Trinnen: D.K. Donkey Kong. He's the leader of the bunch, you know him well, He's finally back, to kick some tail.
Trinnen: His coconut gun can fire in spurts, If he shoots ya, it's gunna hurt.
Trinnen: He's bigger, faster, and stronger too, He's the first member of the D. K. crew.
Reggimir: Cranky Kong!!!!!!!!
Keighley: LOL he only brings me Cranky Kong! Nintendo is so dead! Finish them!
Trinnen: Huh... D.K. Donkey Kong... D.K. Donkey Kong is here. *sobs*
Miyamoto the White: The army is approaching, Nintendo will buckle under the pressure of the media. We must act now. Create a new console. Light the beacons to show the third parties we are ready to join forces. Go now Trinnen!
Trinnen: We will make the greatest console we have ever made! The return of the Nintendo Entertainment System!
State of the art graphics!
The best online service around!
Full advertising support for our partners!
Yamauchigorn: The beacons are lit! Nintendo made a new console!!!
Third party King: Muster EA, Activision, Bethesda, Rockstar! We go to Nintendo's aid!
"Stocks falling!! Nintendo is for kiddies! You should let Apple buy you!"
Trinnen: Miyamoto come quick Iwatathor has gone mad! He is going to burn Reggimir alive!
Iwatathor: The investors want me dead! Want me to step down, if I go I take Reggimir with me!!
Miyamoto the White: Don't listen to them you fool! We made a new console, the third parties will come!
Iwatathor: Nintendo yet lives?! All we needed was games?! Ahhhhh!!!!!!
Miyamoto the White: And so passes Iwatathor, CEO of Nintendo.
Trinnen: What a horrible way to die, he was actually a really nice guy
Miyamoto the White: I know... but thats the script I cant change it. Come we must ride to protect Nintendo until the third parties arrive
Pachter the Witch King: Miyamoto the White!
Miyamoto the White: Go back to the abyss you useless prognosticator!
Pachter: Do you not know bankruptcy when you see it old man! You have failed! The world of Nintendo is over, I have predicted this!
*horns blare*
Third Party King: Arise, arise, third parties! Analysts shall be shaken! Predictions shall be splintered! Ride now, ride now, ride, ride for Nintendo!
GTA! Witcher 3! Fallout 4! Metal Gear Solid 5! Destiny!!!
Media: Its not enough! The games will still sell better on One and PS4! Nintendo will always be kiddie!
Trinnen: I didn't think it would end this way.
Miyamoto the White: End no, the journey doesn't end here. The media is but one path we must fight through. Soon the media will be silenced and then you will see it.
Trinnen: What? What do we see?
Miyamoto the White: Nintendo becoming the best selling console again and not just for casuals but for all. A system where people of all ages enjoy games of all kinds. Not just dudebros, not just kids, everyone playing cause they love games. New portables that crush the bad cell phone games.
Trinnen: Thats not so bad.
Miyamoto the White: No its not.
Pachter: Third parties will sell poorly, you will die!
Pachter: HAHA no ordinary third party can save Nintendo!
Valveowyn: I am no ordinary third party!
Pachter: Nooo I never predicted this!!!!
*Boats arrive*
Yamauchigorn: You want third party exclusives! Here!!
Shenmue 3! Eternal Darkness 2! Half-Life 3! Resident Evil 2 Remake! Virtua Fighter 6! Chrono Trigger 2! New Legacy of Kain! New Mega Man!
And so Nintendo had a new CEO, Yamauchigorn who remembers the glory days of Nintendo's past, who will always make sure that Nintendo has games of all kinds for all gamers. With the negativity of the media defeated, Nintendo shall be the leader of gaming till the end of days.
�
Great, now I have to make a whole new one.
Now, now vader... don't be hasty...
NOOO I had almost finished the treebeard one but it got deleted by stupidity.
So here is the summary. Merry and Pippen are dudebros, Iwata is treebeard who doesnt really know who dudebros are. Merry and Pippen dont really recognize Nintendo either, asks them if they will formally rejoin the console war. Nintendo has the board meeting entmoot. Merry and Pippen ask them if they will have HD, Iwatabeard says "whats HD?", then they say what about an online service to which he says dont be hasty we still have friend codes. They finally decide to not enter the console war, they will keep doing what they do. Merry gets angry cause without Nintendo the consoles will end up with DRM and non stop microtransactions, there will be no Xbox to go home too.
Finally they lead iwatabeard through the forest where he sees... american kids playing tons of xbox! He gets angry! merry and pippen say will you join the console war? Iwatabeard says "all your children are fat! Our future must be fitness!"
The end. I'm pissed it was much better than that.
Epic. Where's Dankey Kang though?
NO! I have to make another one.